My boyfriend and I got into a big fight on new years eve at a party that one of our friends was having and we haven't spoken since. I'm pretty sure that means it's over and I really don't have a problem with that cause to tell ya the truth he was really starting to bug me. I remember when he would call just to say that he loved me and missed me. I remember whan he couldn't wait to hold me and kiss me and recently he had stoped doing all of that. I've decided to spend some time on me and find out what I really want out of life. I thought he was the one but I guess I was wrong we broke up once and got back together but this time I won't go back. He has lost me and I mean for good this time. I spent more time crying over him than I care to recall but this time is different I havn't shed one tear. I really need to get myself straightened out before I can get into a relationship again. I've finally figured out that I've got to love me before any one else can love me. That's all for now.

Later days,

Ricci

Sorry I haven't been on in a while. My computer has been down and I just now got it fixed. My boyfriend is back from basic and boy has a lot of shit went down. A few weeks ago he told me that he needed some time and space and so I being the wonderful girlfriend that I am gave it to him. That was on a wendsday then that saturday he was in a bad car accident and got a gash in his head about four inches long. He's doing ok now but that night he was asking for me and so I went to the hospital and held his hand the entire time knowing that wheather he lived or died I probably still would lose him. A couple days later he asked if things could go back to the way they were before and of course I took him back even though I usually don't go back for seconds if ya know what I mean. Well since then he has moved in with me and I've told him about what happened while he was gone at basic. Thankfully he forgave me and I believe our love is stronger than ever. I guess that's it for now I'll try to keep you all updated. Talk to ya later.

Bye for now

Well I've got two weeks to figure out what I'm going to do about my boyfriend. I know that doesn't seem like much time but it's a whole hell of a lot of time when something is eating at you. I wish I could make it all disapear and there are ways of doing that too bad all of them are illegal. I'm going on a job interview tommarow cause I'm pissed off at everything that has been going on at the gas station where I work. Everyone is always in a pissy mood there and the good people that we had all left. Now we're stuck with all the shity worker that don't do anything. I'm tired of everyone expecting me to clean up thier messes. Oh well they're going to miss me when I'm gone. But I won't miss them. This new job that I'm looking into pays $8.25 an hour that sure as hell beats the $5.50 an hour that I'm making at the gas station plus this new job has benifits. Well I gotta go if I'm going to get an early start tommarow. Wish me luck.

Later Days,

Ricci

Xanga

This is the begining of my entries I hope no one minds that I'm depressing, speculative, and dramatic. From what i've seen I should fit in just fine.